An update on Lettie

So as you can tell from my lack of blogging life is always busy. I wanted to give everyone an update on how Lettie has been lately. She is still seizure free, 15 weeks today! But things aren't moving along as well as we had hoped it would be so prayers are still needed. She recently started startling when she wakes from her naps like she used to do before surgery and it really concerns me. I watch for when she wakes and immediately start talking to her hoping to help calm her and I try to force her to look at me because her eyes want to drift to the upper right corner of her eyes and they twitch a lot. I don't know if she would have a seizure if I wasn't around to calm her or not but I'm frightened that seizures are just around the corner again. As you know, her EEG showed abnormal spiking on the left side, so we are just constantly praying that God will grant her some grace from those returning. Her development has somewhat plateaued in my opinion. She isn't really making any gains with movement, speech, or cognition. The babbling we were hearing more of has now almost completely diminished and the left side movement isn't really any different either. Lettie seems to have no desire or motivation to make gains like sitting up or crawling. Mark and I talked this weekend about how she doesn't really seem to know anything that goes on around her. Don't get me wrong, she is a happy and mostly content child, but I don't think her processing is improving at all.

This absolutely breaks my heart and as transparent as I can be with you all, I am having a very hard time lately with all of this. I find myself getting angry at God for all of this and then crying for forgiveness that at least we don't have seizures. Lettie is just so precious and my heart aches so much for her to have a life where she would be able to enjoy Jack and Coop and run and play with them. I also know all too well, that may not be God's plan for my Lettie and recently that has hit me very hard. Some days just honestly suck! But I try my best to take each day as it comes and pray every moment I get for absolute healing for her.

My other two munchkins are doing well. Coop is still playing soccer and school is going well for her, no trouble yet thank goodness. Jack has finally found some outdoor activities he likes- basketball and biking. He is going to play Upward basketball in November and is loving his new skill of riding a two wheel bike! They are all such great kids and I cannot complain when God has given me such precious treasures to take care of . My friends mother in law gave a book recently called, " Relax, God is in control." She had tagged a page she thought reminded her of my situation and it reads, " I know God will not give me anything that I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much." Can I get an Amen to that!